人生能重來嗎?
By:Robert J. Tamasy
雖然我不是個高爾夫好手,但我發現有一個叫「Mulligan」的東西很吸引我。有時在高爾夫友誼賽時,比賽的人被允許可以重打一次,叫做「take a mulligan」。也許是因為這個人上一桿打的不好或是對手願意在關鍵時刻給予他一個機會。可以重打一次的機會在任何場合都是很受歡迎的。
如果我們的人生可以重新來一次那就好了!我們就有機會可以重新評估過去的一個決定或是結果。但我們的人生能重來一次嗎?
在一年過去,歲末年終的時候,也許你希望有人在你做一個很困難的經濟決定時、在破裂的人際關係上、在錯誤的職業選擇上或是在一個錯誤的生意計畫或策略上,可以再給你一次機會。也許你會說:「我可以再來一次嗎?」
但很不幸的是,除非有人發明了時光機,否則我們很難回到過去。生命並沒有提供我們「take a mulligan」的機會,我們必須要去面對自己做錯的決定,但我們做對了事情,也會得到益處。在歲末年終的時候,不能免俗的我們都會做一個年終的回顧,評價自己在過去十二個月的表現。
當我們往回看,過去的一切都可以看的很清楚。回顧過去可以讓我們在未來做一個更正確的決定。但我們若發現自己一直看過去,哀嘆過去的錯誤,回顧就會限制住我們。所以當我們在迎接新的一年時,使徒保羅提供了我們一些很有用的聖經原則讓我們能正確地回顧過去:
不分心:今天人們喜歡一心多用,但俗話說「樣樣會,但樣樣不精。」專注在你的長才上。「你要和我同受苦難,好像基督耶穌的精兵。凡在軍中當兵的,不將世務纏身,好叫那招他當兵的人喜悅。」(提摩太後書2章3-4節)
專注在一個最大的目標:你為何在這?你的目標是什麼?這些問題可以幫助你專注在最大的目標。「這不是說我已經得著了,已經完全了;我乃是竭力追求,或者可以得著基督耶穌所以得著我的(所以得著我的:或譯所要我得的)」。(腓立比書3章12節)
忘記背後,努力面前: 一個經常往後看的賽跑者是沒有辦法跑的直的。如果我們一直看過去不看前面,我們就很容易分心,或者我們的速度會慢下來。「弟兄們,我不是以為自己已經得著了;我只有一件事,就是忘記背後,努力面前的。」(腓立比書3:13)
常存盼望:失敗不是結束。失敗可以幫助我們改變或是做的更好,幫助我們更成功。「向著標竿直跑,要得 神在基督耶穌裏從上面召我來得的獎賞。」(腓立比書3:14)
Robert J. Tamasy是亞特蘭大「領袖遺產」 (一個非營利性機構) 通訊部的副總裁。他是一個有39年經驗的資深記者,也是多本著作的作者,包括「一份遺產」;企業高峰:「給今日職場無窮盡智慧的箴言」 (River City 出版社);也與David A. Stoddard合著「導師的心」 (Nav出版社)。欲知更多詳情可上 www.leaderslegacy.com網站或是他的部落格 www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com。
思想與問題討論
如果你的人生可以重來一次,你最想改變去年的什麼事?為什麼? 歲末年終的時候你都做些什麼?你會寫下新年新希望?回顧過去或是計劃未來?做這些對你有幫助嗎? 你是否曾經長時間沉溺在過去的回憶或罪咎感中?這對你前進未來的能力、計畫和目標是否有影響? 聖經說: 「若有人在基督裏,他就是新造的人,舊事已過,都變成新的了。」(哥林多後書5章17節)對你個人或是你的事業有什麼意義?備註:如果你手上有聖經,並且希望閱讀與這個主題相關的經節,請參考:
詩篇40篇3節;箴言3章9-10節;以賽亞書43章18-19節;以西結書18章30-31節;馬太福音9章16-17節
COULD YOU USE A “MULLIGAN” – A DO-OVER?
By Robert J. Tamasy
Although I am not a golfer, there is one aspect of the game that I find appealing: something they call a “mulligan.” During a friendly game of golf, sometimes competitors will be permitted to redo one shot, to “take a mulligan.” It might be following a particularly bad shot, or it could be permission given by fellow players to try again at a critical point in the person”s round of golf. In any event, the mulligan – a “do-over” – can be a welcome opportunity to correct an errant shot.
It would be nice if, from time to time, life offered us a mulligan, wouldn”t it? An opportunity to re-evaluate a specific decision or action and conclude, “I didn”t like how that turned out. Could I do it over?”
As another calendar year concludes, you may wish someone would offer you a mulligan for something you did: a troublesome financial decision, a damaged relationship, a poor career choice, an ill-conceived business plan or strategy, or a squandered opportunity. “Can I have a do-over?” you might like to ask.
Unfortunately, at least until someone succeeds at inventing a time machine, we cannot go back. Life does not offer do-overs or invite us to “take a mulligan.” We must face and live with the consequences of wrong decisions and actions, along with reaping the benefits of things we have done well. Nevertheless, as one year ends and another prepares to begin, we often cannot help conducting a “year in review,” evaluating both the good and not-so-good of the past 12 months.
So we make use of hindsight, which enables us to see clearly into the past. Hindsight is good if we allow ourselves to learn from the past so we make better choices in the future. However, if we find ourselves dwelling in the past – mourning mistakes we cannot undo – hindsight can immobilize us. So as we celebrate our triumphs in the past year and attempt to shrug off our failures, here are some principles taken from letters written by the apostle Paul in the Bible that might be helpful:
Do not become distracted. Today people delight in multi-tasking, but as the adage says, if you become a jack of all trades, too often you become the master of none. Determine what you do best; concentrate on that. “Endure hardship like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs – he wants to please his commanding officer“” (2 Timothy 2:3-4).
Focus on an overriding purpose. Why are you here? What do you think is your purpose? Those questions will enable you to focus. “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me”” (Philippians 3:12).
Always look forward, not backward. A runner constantly looking backward will not run a straight course. In the same way, if we keep looking at what lies in the past instead of what we will encounter in the future, we are likely to drift from our objective. At the very least, our forward pace will be slowed. “…But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead” (Philippians 3:13).
Keep a desired end in sight. Failure need not be the end; it can instruct us on what to change or do better, assisting in our quest for future success. “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).
Robert J. Tamasy is vice president of communications for Leaders Legacy, Inc., a non-profit corporation based in Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A. A veteran journalist for 40 years, he is the author of Tufting Legacies (iUniverse); Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today”s Workplace (River City Press); and has coauthored with David A. Stoddard, The Heart of Mentoring (NavPress). For more information, see www.leaderslegacy.com or his blog, www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com.
Reflection/Discussion Questions
If you could “take a mulligan,” change one thing from the past year, what would it be – and why? What is your usual practice as you watch one year come to a close and another begins? Do you make resolutions, set goals, review the past year, or develop plans for desired changes? How have you found any of these to be helpful? Have you ever been guilty of dwelling on the past for too long? If so, what effect did that have on your ability to advance into the future with new plans and objectives? The Bible states, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). What, if anything, does that mean to you personally – and professionally? NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to review additional passages that relate to this topic, consider the following verses: Psalm 40:3; Proverbs 3:9-10; Isaiah 43:18-19; Ezekiel 18:30-31; Matthew 9:16-17