不願憐憫

By: Dr.Rick Warren華理克博士

真正的「團契」是一種從相互的支持中所發展出來的友誼或關係,在這樣的團契中人能經歷憐憫。團契是恩典所在的地方,在那裡,錯誤不會一直被提醒而是被塗抹以及饒恕。當憐憫勝過公義時,團契的關係就從中產生了。

每個人都需要憐憫,因為我們都墮落和跌倒,常常需要別人幫助我們回歸正道。也因此我們都需要彼此願意給予憐憫、也從別人那裡得著憐憫。

無論是在工作的場合、社團組織或是家庭中,要與人有團契的關係一定要彼此饒恕,沒有饒恕,苦毒和怨恨就會破壞關係。因為我們有意無意會彼此傷害,因此我們都需要大量的憐憫和恩典才能維持彼此的關係。

聖經也提供了我們這樣的教訓:「倘若這人與那人有嫌隙,總要彼此包容,彼此饒恕;主怎樣饒恕了你們,你們也要怎樣饒恕人。」(歌羅西書3章:13節)

不管外在的景況如何,神給我們的憐憫,成為我們能憐憫別人的動機。即便被別人傷害,你還是要做一個決定:我要用我的力氣和情緒來報復或是饒恕。你只能選一個。

很多人不願意憐憫人,因為他們搞混了「信任」和「饒恕」。饒恕是放手過去,然而信任卻需要努力建立。

「饒恕」是立即的,不論那個人有沒有要求你做。但是「信任」卻是必須花時間贏得和重建的。

信任需要一個紀錄:如果一個人重複地傷害你,神為你的益處著想,會要求你快快饒恕他。因為不饒恕可能會造成情緒的癌症或是揮之不去致命的毒根。

但是,神沒有要求你立刻相信傷害你的人。因為這些造成你傷害的人,必須表現出他們已改變以贏得你的信任。最能重新恢復信任的地方,是一個可以提供鼓勵和誠信的支持小團體。

當你幫助別人做正向的改變時,你的第一個步驟應該是寬容的饒恕,不論他們選擇做甚麼補償的行動。

想一想聖經中的經節:「倒不如赦免他,安慰他,免得他憂愁太過,甚至沉淪了。」(哥林多後書2章7節)

© 2011, 標竿人生。版權所有.節錄自華理克牧師的專欄。華理克牧師是多產的作家,他最受好評的暢銷書是:標竿人生。標竿人生已被翻譯成多國語言並行銷全球。書中倡導生命中有一個清楚、有計畫的目標能引導每日生活的重要性。它也被選為改變二十世紀的一百本基督教書籍之一。他也是標竿教會一書的作者。

思想 / 討論題目
『團契』一詞經常被用在宗教和人際的場合中,但是你看過工作場合中的「團契」是以甚麼形式表現出來的? 你是否曾經或是現在正經歷很難饒恕一個人的景況。請解釋難以饒恕的原因。 你覺得「饒恕」和「信任」有甚麼不同?分辨「饒恕」和「信任」是否幫助你能饒恕一個人,但不是完全信任他,一直到那個人證明自己是值得信任的?說說你的答案。 饒恕一個人不僅是為了那人的益處也是為我們自己的益處。你覺得這句話是正確的嗎?請分享你的答案和原因。註:若你有聖經且想要看有關此主題的其他經文,請看:
箴12章26節、14章7節、馬太福音6章12-15節、18章23-35節、馬可福音11章22-25節、路加福音6章37節


DO NOT BE RELUCTANT TO SHOW MERCY

By Dr. Rick Warren

In real fellowship – a friendship or relationship in which mutual support is extended – people experience mercy. Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes are not rubbed in with constant reminders, but rubbed out and forgiven. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.

Everyone needs mercy, because we all stumble and fall, and usually require help getting back on track. Because of this, we need to be willing to offer mercy to each other – and be equally willing to receive it from one another.

You cannot have fellowship, whether in the workplace, a community organization or a family, without forgiveness because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. Sometimes we hurt each other intentionally and sometimes unintentionally; either way, it takes massive amounts of mercy and grace to create and maintain fellowship.

The Bible offers this wise admonition: “You must make allowance for each other”s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13).

The mercy God shows to us should serve as the motivation for us to show mercy to others, regardless of the circumstances. Whenever you find yourself being hurt by someone else, you have a choice to make:

Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation – or for resolution? You cannot do both.

Many people are reluctant to show mercy because they fail to understand the difference between trust and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust, however, has to do with future behavior.

Forgiveness must be immediate, regardless of whether a person asks for it. Trust must be earned and rebuilt over time.

Trust requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, for your own benefit as well as the other person. Lack of forgiveness can become an emotional cancer, a lingering, lethal source of bitterness.

However, you are not expected to immediately trust the person that has hurt you – and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. When people inflict pain in your life, they must prove to have changed over time before they can regain your trust. One of the best places for restoring trust is within the supportive context of a small group that can provide both encouragement and accountability.

But while you are giving people time to make positive changes, your first step should be to extend forgiveness, independent of whatever remedial action they choose to take.

Consider this insight from the Scriptures: “When people sin, you should forgive and comfort them, so they won”t give up in despair” (2 Corinthians 2:7).

© 2011, Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved. Adapted from a column by Dr. Rick Warren, the author of numerous books, including the highly acclaimed, The Purpose-Drive Life, which has been translated into many languages and sold throughout the world. It affirms the importance of having a carefully considered, clearly expressed purpose to guide everyday life. It has been named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He also has written The Purpose-Driven Church.

Reflection/Discussion Questions
The term “fellowship” is often used in religious and social settings, but how have you seen fellowship exhibited in the workplace? Have you ever encountered a situation with someone when it was extremely difficult to forgive? Perhaps you are presently experiencing such a circumstance. Why was (or is) it so difficult to forgive the other person? What is your understanding of the difference between forgiveness and trust? Does it help you to realize you can forgive someone for harm they have done to you without having to put your complete trust in them – at least until they have proven themselves trustworthy? Explain your answer. It is stated that the act of forgiveness is as much for our benefit as it is for the offending individual. Do you think this is true? Why or why not?NOTE: If you have a Bible, consider these other passages that relate to this topic:
Proverbs 12:26m 14:7; Matthew 6:12-15, 18:23-35; Mark 11:22-25; Luke 6:37

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