保持敏感度──SIMPLY SHOWING SENSITIVITY

MONDAY MANNA

現今職場上很缺乏的事情之一就是敏感度。這可以定義為「轉向」我們日常生活中人們的需求。我們很容易就和應該親近的人保持距離,隨意地遠離他們。然而敏感度對於企業和個人關係都非常重要,對人事物敏感會使我們的日常人際關係產生重大改變。

但是,敏感度不僅和我們說話的品質及語調有關,也需要犧牲大量時間來解決別人的需要,包括積極聆聽,以及適當回應來表達我們確實在意他們,把他們的擔憂放在我們自己的需要之上。

人際關係是構成有意義且充實生活的要件。小時候,我唯一的人際關係就是家庭。我在十歲之前都是獨生子,從沒經歷過如何和人形成牢固、積極的人際關係。但是在兩次離婚、多次錯失友誼後,耶穌基督以救主的身份進入我的生命,我的生活中才建立起維繫持久關係的概念。當我們以自我為中心時,我們會因為把自己擺在第一位而失去關係。 

許多文獻都在探討聆聽的「藝術」(art)。但這方面沒有人比耶穌基督更值得學習。祂最擅長的就是在這個詞加上兩個字母。你可以說祂是把「自己」(He)加到「藝術」(art)這個字上,表明祂聆聽的「真心」(Heart)。耶穌在展現神蹟、教導那些願意聽祂說如何與上帝建立永恆關係的人時,也能夠體察到群眾和個人的需求。

我們也有能力培養一顆願意聆聽的心,但要付出代價,不像水龍頭可以立即打開和關上。我們必須和主放在我們周圍的環境保持和諧,同時與上帝對我們生命的計畫保持一致。這不是一件簡單的事,但透過神的能力就有可能。

在以弗所書4:22-24中,使徒保羅向選擇跟隨基督的人解釋說:就要脫去你們從前行為上的舊人,這舊人是因私慾的迷惑漸漸變壞的;又要將你們的心志改換一新,並且穿上新人,這新人是照著神的形象造的,有真理的仁義和聖潔。我相信這是唯一能夠真實認識,並學習如何對他人需求保持敏感的方式。

我們不需要參加敏感度培訓課程來學習如何對他人的需求敏感。我們需要的是一顆被轉化的心,以及如何愛那些不可愛的人的智慧。這就是耶穌的愛,也是天父上帝愛我們的方式。祂在傾聽我們的需要,但我們要願意讓耶穌來引導我們,走上有永恆平安以及真正幸福的唯一道路。

敏感度從「轉向」上帝而來。當我們這樣做的時候,祂就會開始進行改變我們心靈,一生之久的過程,讓我們越來越像祂。所以弟兄們,我以神的慈悲勸你們,將身體獻上,當作活祭,是聖潔的,是神所喜悅的;你們如此事奉乃是理所當然的。不要效法這個世界,只要心意更新而變化……(羅馬書12:1-2)

Jim Langley從事人壽健康保險業已經超過30年了。最近幾年,他熱心於將自己與神的關係書 寫出來,目的是要鼓勵其他人更加親近神。他也是CBMC的長期會員,在2014年時,他開始寫作「四分衛策略」(Fourth Quarter Strategies)。

反省與問題討論

  1. 你對職場的敏感度有什麼樣的體會?請你描述該如何正確表現敏感度。
  2. 你在對別人的需求敏感這方面表現如何?
  3. 努力培養和表現出對他人的敏感度有什麼好處?職場上的敏感度是否會產生負面影響?請解釋你的答案。
  4. 你認為耶穌基督是對他人需求敏感的好榜樣嗎?請解釋你的答案。

備註:更多和主題相關的聖經經文,請參考: 詩篇34:11-16;腓2:3-4;歌羅西書3:5-10;希伯來書4:14-16;彼得一書3:8-9

詩篇34:11-16
34:11 眾弟子啊,你們當來聽我的話!我要將敬畏耶和華的道教訓你們。
34:12 有何人喜好存活,愛慕長壽,得享美福,
34:13 就要禁止舌頭不出惡言,嘴唇不說詭詐的話。
34:14 要離惡行善,尋求和睦,一心追趕。
34:15 耶和華的眼目看顧義人;他的耳朵聽他們的呼求。
34:16 耶和華向行惡的人變臉,要從世上除滅他們的名號。

腓2:3-4
2:3 凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。
2:4 各人不要單顧自己的事,也要顧別人的事。

歌羅西書3:5-10
3:5 所以,要治死你們在地上的肢體,就如淫亂、污穢、邪情、惡慾,和貪婪(貪婪就與拜偶像一樣)。
3:6 因這些事, 神的忿怒必臨到那悖逆之子。
3:7 當你們在這些事中活著的時候,也曾這樣行過。
3:8 但現在你們要棄絕這一切的事,以及惱恨、忿怒、惡毒(或譯:陰毒)、毀謗,並口中污穢的言語。
3:9 不要彼此說謊;因你們已經脫去舊人和舊人的行為,
3:10 穿上了新人。這新人在知識上漸漸更新,正如造他主的形像。

希伯來書4:14-16
4:14 我們既然有一位已經升入高天尊榮的大祭司,就是 神的兒子耶穌,便當持定所承認的道。
4:15 因我們的大祭司並非不能體恤我們的軟弱。他也曾凡事受過試探,與我們一樣,只是他沒有犯罪。
4:16 所以,我們只管坦然無懼地來到施恩的寶座前,為要得憐恤,蒙恩惠,作隨時的幫助。

彼得一書3:8-9
3:8 總而言之,你們都要同心,彼此體恤,相愛如弟兄,存慈憐謙卑的心。
3:9 不以惡報惡,以辱罵還辱罵,倒要祝福;因你們是為此蒙召,好叫你們承受福氣。
 


SIMPLY SHOWING SENSITIVITY

By Jim Langley

One of the things in short supply in today’s marketplace is sensitivity. This can be defined as “tuning in” to the needs of those who come into our lives every day. We can easily become distant from those we should be closest to, casually tuning them out. But sensitivity can be critical for both business and personal relationships. Demonstrating it makes a tremendous difference in our everyday relationships.

However, sensitivity is not only about the quality and tone of our conversations. It also can require sacrificing a significant amount of time to address the needs of others. This includes active listening, and then responding in ways that show we do care and are putting people’s concerns above our own.

Relationships are integral to a meaningful, fulfilling life. As a young boy, my only relationships were with family members; as an only child for 10 years, I never experienced how strong, positive relationships could be formed. The concept of forming lasting relationships came to me later in life, after Jesus Christ came into my life as Savior and Lord. This took place after two divorces and many missed friendship opportunities. When we are self-absorbed, we put ourselves first, at the cost of relationships.

Much has been written about the “art” of listening. But no one modeled this better than Jesus Christ. What He did so best was to add two letters to the word. You could say Jesus added “He” to “art,” demonstrating the “Heart” of listening. He was also able to sense the needs of both the masses and individuals as He performed miracles and taught those willing to listen how they could have an eternal relationship with God.

We too have the ability to develop a listening heart, but this comes at a price. It is not something we can turn on and off like a faucet. We must remain attuned to circumstances the Lord puts around us, while keeping in tune with His desires for our lives. This is not easy, but possible through God’s power.

In Ephesians 4:22-24, the apostle Paul explains to those who had chosen to follow Christ, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” I believe this is the only way to truly discover and learn how to be sensitive to the needs of others.

We do not  need to attend sensitivity training sessions to learn how to be sensitive to the needs of others. What we need is a changed heart, along with an understanding of how to love others – even when they aren’t lovable. This is how Jesus loved, and how God our Heavenly Father loves us. He is listening to our needs, but needs us to allow Jesus to guide us to the only path for lasting peace and true happiness.

Sensitivity comes from “tuning in” to God first. As we do this, He begins the lifelong process of changing our hearts, making us more and more like Him. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holding and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:1-2).

© 2019, all rights reserved. Jim Langley has been writing for more than 30 years while working as a life and health insurance agent. In recent years, his passion has turned to writing about his relationship with God. His goal is to encourage others to draw near to Him as well. A long-time member of CBMC, he started writing “Fourth Quarter Strategies” in 2014.

Reflection/Discussion Questions

  1. What has been your experience with sensitivity in the workplace? How would you describe what sensitivity looks like when it is being properly demonstrated?
  2. How would you describe yourself in terms of being able to show sensitivity toward others?
  3. What are the benefits of striving to have and display sensitivity toward others? Are there downsides of sensitivity in the workplace? Explain your answer.
  4. Do you think that Jesus Christ served as a good example of sensitivity toward others? Why or why not?

NOTE: For more about what the Bible says consider the following passages:
Psalm 34:11-16; Philippians 2:3-4; Colossians 3:5-10; Hebrews 4:14-16; 1 Peter 3:8-9

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