約束你的嘴唇，得到獎賞
By Rick Boxx
在美國有一句古老的諺語說：「不牢靠的嘴唇能使船沉沒」。在英國也有類似的一句話說：「不謹慎的談話會讓你喪失生命。」這兩句都想表達相同的意思：留心你的言語。這兩句口號是二次大戰時的是用來警告不要討論艦隊的行動以免不小心將資訊洩漏給間諜，不謹慎的話，敵人就能輕易知道你的計劃。
在工商人的環境裡，我們不太會把謹守口舌和「戰時」聯想在一起。但是原則其實還是一樣的，不謹慎、未經思考的話是非常具有殺傷力的。不牢靠的嘴唇會破壞友誼、摧毀關係，讓垂手可得的成功變成失敗。
我舉唐這個人為例。他和親近的朋友合夥做生意，不幸地是，他們發生了嚴重的爭吵，雖然唐自己沒有犯錯，但他很生氣地離開，感覺受傷，並承受財務上的損失。
他想著要告他的前合夥人，並且心裡掙扎著要在機會出現的時候，好好地羞辱他。因為，唐被錯誤地對待，他覺得正義應該要被伸張。但是在很多次禱告和向可靠的朋友詢問之後，他決定放棄報復，選擇榮耀神。他和前合夥人仍保持聯絡，在遇到他的時候，唐在言語和行為上都表現出耶穌基督無條件的愛。
唐也決定要禁止自己的舌頭，不說前合夥人的壞話。一年之後，神恢復了他們的友誼和合夥關係。因為他禁止自己口出惡言，所以也不需要去修補關係或是醫治傷害。
聖經箴言第10章19節裡面所說的很有力也很有用。「多言多語難免有過；禁止嘴唇是有智慧。」要實踐的方法之一就是，當有人傷害我們時，用一個長遠的眼光來看這件事並且禁止我們的舌頭口出惡言，因為我們不知道未來會變得如何？以下我也列舉其他聖經經文提供大家參考：
舌頭難以馴服。舌頭就像是馬的銜環或是大船的舵，我們如何使用自己的舌頭也會影響自己的一生。「這樣，舌頭在百體裏也是最小的，卻能說大話。看哪，最小的火能點著最大的樹林。舌頭就是火，在我們百體中，舌頭是個罪惡的世界，能污穢全身，也能把生命的輪子點起來，並且是從地獄裏點著的。」 (雅各書 3章5-6節).
好的容器或壞的容器。無論是在商業的會議上、私人的對話中，或是講台上，舌頭能成為醫治人的工作或是毀壞人的武器。「說話浮躁的，如刀刺人；智慧人的舌頭卻為醫人的良藥。」 (箴言12章18節)
正確使用語言能成為幫助，錯誤使用則會傷害自己。每天謹言慎行，一天就能過得很順利。如果我們說話沒有智慧和衝動，原本很好的一天可能都被破壞了。「謹守口的，得保生命；大張嘴的，必致敗亡。」 (箴言 13章3節).
本文版權為正直資源中心（Integrity Resource Center, Inc.）所有。本文獲得授權改編自瑞克．博克思的正直時刻Integrity Moments with Rich Boxx」。這系列的文章是以一個基督徒的觀點評論職場的正直議題。
省思與問題討論
你聽過：「不牢靠的嘴唇能使船沉沒」、「不謹慎的談話會讓你喪失生命」或者其他類似的話嗎？它們對你有甚麼意義嗎？
你覺得文章中唐沒有咒罵他的前合夥人，反而用耶穌基督的愛去愛錯待他的人，這個例子給你甚麼啟示？
當我們被傷害、被不公平地對待時，不去咒罵對方是一件很困難的事嗎？
在文章中的例子裡，最後唐和他的前合夥人恢復友誼和生意合作關係，如果我們最後無法和傷害我們的人恢復關係，下定決心不口出惡言，就不是一個好的建議了呢？請分享你的看法？
備註: 如果你手上有聖經，希望能讀更多和這個主題相關的經文，請參考：箴言 4章24節、10章20-21節、11章12節、12章13-14節、13章13節、15章2節、7節、28節；雅各書3章3-12節
RESTRAIN YOUR LIPS – YOU MIGHT BE REWARDED
By Rick Boxx
There is an old American saying, “Loose lips sink ships.” A British equivalent, “Careless talk costs lives,” carried the same meaning – to beware of unguarded talk. These slogans during World War II were used to warn against discussing ship movements or unintentionally leaking vital information to spies. No sense letting the enemy know your plans.
In the business and professional world, we do not typically regard ourselves as engaging in “war,” but the principle still applies: Careless, poorly considered words can be very damaging. “Loose lips” can ruin friendships, destroy customer relationships, and transform near-success into failure.
Take Don, for example. He had formed a partnership with a close friend. Unfortunately, these two men had a serious dispute, and Don left the business angry, hurt, and suffered a substantial financial loss through no fault of his own.
He considered suing his former partner, and wrestled with the temptation to disparage him when the right occasion presented itself. After all, Don had been wronged and he felt justice should be served. However, after much prayer – and the counsel of trusted friends – rather than seeking his own revenge, Don chose to honor God. He maintained contact with the former partner and demonstrated to him, in both word and deed, the unconditional love of Jesus Christ every time an opportunity arose.
Don also chose to restrain himself from speaking poorly about his one-time business associate to others. About a year later, God restored the friendship, along with the partnership. Because he had refrained from speaking negatively about his partner, there was no need for damage control, no unnecessary wounds to heal.
This is why Bible passages like Proverbs 10:19 are so powerful and useful. It teaches, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” One way of applying this admonition is that if someone has hurt us, it would be good to take a long-term view and restrain our lips. We never know what the future brings. Here are some other Scripture passages to consider:
The tongue, tough to tame. Just as a small bit controls a horse, or a rudder guides a large ship, how we use our tongue affects the course of our lives. “…the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body…” (James 3:5-6).
An instrument for either good or evil. Whether in a business meeting, a private conversation, or at a podium before many people, the tongue can serve as a tool for healing or a weapon for destruction. “The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse” (10:32). “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).
Our use of words can be to our benefit, or for our harm. If cautious about what we say and how we say it, a day can go smoothly. If we speak unwisely and impulsively, a good day can quickly be ruined. “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3).
Copyright 2017, Integrity Resource Center, Inc. Adapted with permission from "Integrity Moments with Rick Boxx," a commentary on issues of integrity in the workplace from a Christian perspective. To learn more about Integrity Resource Center or to sign up for Rick”s daily Integrity Moments, visit www.integrityresource.org. His new book, Unconventional Business, provides “Five Keys to Growing a Business God”s Way.”
Reflection/Discussion Questions
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Loose lips sink ships,” “Careless talk costs lives,” or something similar? What does it mean to you? What do you think of the example of Don, who overcame the temptation to demean his former partner, even though he could have justified what he was saying because of the wrongs he had suffered? How difficult is it to avoid lashing out toward others when we feel they have caused us harm or we have been treated unfairly? In the example of Don and his partner, the friendship and business relationship eventually were restored. What if we suffer unjustly, but do not experience such a “happy ending” – does this mean our determination not to strike back in vengeance, not to speak ill of the offending person(s), was ill-advised? Why or why not?
NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more about this subject, consider the following passages: Proverbs 4:24, 10:20-21, 11:12, 12:13-14, 13:13, 15:2,7,28; James 3:3-12
