避免職場上的苦毒

By: Rick Boxx

生意上的伙伴如果彼此合作愉快,工作效率就能事半功倍,輕鬆融洽。但如果生意失敗了,彼此可能就會承受在關係上的身心壓力。其他職場上的關係也是如此,一個失敗的職場關係很具有毀滅性。

我有一個朋友唐,他和一個生意夥伴原本關係良好,但因為對客戶和供應商的看法不同壞了彼此的關係。這些衝突無法解決,最後演變成為令人遺憾的後果-拆夥。唐因而在個人和經濟上都蒙受了很大的損失。

失去一段好的關係已經很令人傷心了,經濟上的損失更加深他的失敗和挫折感。大部分的人在這種情況下都會心生苦毒以及產生被人背叛的感覺。但是當他心中這樣的情緒逐漸高漲時,他選擇立刻轉身離開這種情緒。

唐沒有讓苦毒的根毀壞他和之前夥伴的拆夥後的關係,他決定要尋求和平的解決方式。這樣的決定是因為他知道苦毒會影響他生活的每一個層面。唐跟我坦承說:「苦毒也會使我拒其他人於千里之外,我不希望它破壞我其他的人際關係」。

聖經在希伯來書12章14-15節很清楚地講到:「你們要追求與眾人和睦,並要追求聖潔;非聖潔沒有人能見主。 又要謹慎,恐怕有人失了上帝的恩;恐怕有毒根生出來擾亂你們,因此叫眾人沾染污穢。」

苦毒的情緒具有殺傷性,跟癌症在人身上運作的方式一樣。如果一直不去理會它,它會破壞我們和每一個與我們相遇的人的關係。和處理腫瘤的方式一樣,在苦毒造成覆水難收的後果前,你可以移除它。

耶穌告訴我們,當被不公平的對待時,要如此回應:「你們聽見有話說:『以眼還眼,以牙還牙。』 只是我告訴你們,不要與惡人作對。有人打你的右臉,連左臉也轉過來由他打;有人想要告你,要拿你的裏衣,連外衣也由他拿去;」(馬太福音5章38-40節)

也許我們會不甘心地說:「看看他們對我做了什麼,我不能讓他們白白逃罪。」耶穌教導門徒以及我們:「不論是否哪種形式都不要存著報復的心。」即使那人不配,仍然饒恕。原諒他們然後繼續往前進,對我們自己的好處遠大於對他們的好處。

毫無疑問的,不愉快的生意或職場經驗會造成苦毒,但是靠著神的恩典,我們可以尋求和平的解決方式,而不是讓衝突升高,記得:「不要心存苦毒。」

本文版權為正直資源中心(Integrity Resource Center, Inc.)所有。本文獲得授權改編自「瑞克.博克思 的正直時刻Integrity Moments with Rich Boxx」。這系列的文章是以一個基督徒的觀點評論職場的正直議題。

省思/討論題目
你是否曾經和人合夥做生意?如果有,那是什麼樣的經驗?你覺得失敗的合夥關係是一個痛苦的經驗嗎?解釋一下你的理由。 你贊成「苦毒的根」這個觀念嗎?你是否有過這樣的經驗或最近對某人有這種感覺?如果有,你覺得它帶給你自己和別人什麼影響? 這篇文章中提到希伯來書12:14-15的經節:「你們要追求與眾人和睦」你覺得這是可能的嗎?解釋你的答案。 你覺得在職場上有人打你的右臉,連左臉也轉過來由他打是可能的嗎?解釋一下你的理由。若你想要看或討論聖經中有關此主題的其他經文,請看:箴言4章14-15節、12章26節;傳道書4章9-12節;馬太福音6章14-15節,18章21-22節

AVOIDING BITTERNESS OVER WORKPLACE FAILURES
By Rick Boxx

When functioning properly, business partnerships can be productive, efficient – and enjoyable. But when they fail, one or more parties in the relationship can suffer great mental and emotional distress. Just as with any failure in the workplace, a failed business partnership can be devastating.

A case in point involved my friend, Don. His once-thriving, positive relationship with his business partner began deteriorating due to differences in values and philosophy about how they should operate on a daily basis with customers and suppliers. Eventually these conflicts could not be resolved and their partnership came to a regrettable end. As a consequence of dissolving the partnership, Don incurred large financial losses personally.

The disappointment of losing a relationship that once held great promise was bad enough. But the impact on him financially greatly intensified his sense of failure and feelings of frustration. A common, even understandable response for many people in such circumstances would be feelings of bitterness and betrayal. However, when Don felt those emotions beginning to rise up inside, he chose to take immediate, evasive action.

Instead of allowing what can be termed “a root of bitterness” to destroy what remained of his relationship with the ex-business partner, Don chose to pursue a peaceful resolution. He made this determination not for the benefit of the former partner, but for himself, understanding how bitterness could affect other areas of his life. As Don admitted to me, "When I feel hurt, it can cause me to close myself off to others. I do not want this situation to undermine my other relationships."

The Bible speaks directly to this reality. Hebrews 12:14-15 says, "Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled."

The emotion of bitterness can be destructive, acting similar to cancer in the human body. If allowed to grow unchecked, it can destroy us and everyone crossing our paths. So like excising a cancerous tumor, bitterness must be dealt with and removed before it can cause irreparable damage.

Jesus addressed this when He spoke of how we should respond when treated unfairly. "You have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ "But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. "If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also” (Matthew 5:38-40).

We might argue, “Yes, but after what they did to me, I cannot just let them go without reacting in some way.” Jesus taught that for us as His followers, that “some way” should not be to punish or seek revenge, but rather to offer forgiveness – even when it is not deserved, or even requested. To forgive and then to move on is more for our benefit than for those who have done us harm.

Without question, business dealings that have gone bad can cause bitterness, but by God’s grace, and in our pursuit of peace – rather than seeking to escalate the conflict – bitterness does not have to follow.

Copyright 2015, Integrity Resource Center, Inc. Adapted with permission from "Integrity Moments with Rick Boxx," a commentary on issues of integrity in the workplace from a Christian perspective.

Reflection/Discussion Questions
Have you ever been involved in a business partnership? If so, what was that experience like for you? Why do you think failed business partnerships can be so painful? What do you think of the concept of a “root of bitterness”? Have you ever experienced this yourself? Being honest, do you presently harbor bitterness toward anyone? If so, what has been the effect – not only upon the other person, but also on you? One Bible passage cited in this “Monday Manna” states we should “pursue peace with all men (and women).” Do you think this is always possible? Explain your answer. Do you think the concept of “turning the other cheek” is appropriate for the workplace? Why or why not?NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more about this subject, consider the following passages: Proverbs 4:14-15, 12:26; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Matthew 6:14-15, 18:21-22

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