By Robert J. Tamasy
但是，在這裡我說的「帶門徒」是一種互惠互利的關係：兩人一起尋求成長並建立彼此的生活。當大衛．斯托達德(David A. Stoddard)和我共同撰寫「指導的核心：發展人們最高潛能的十大原則」(Ten Proven Principles for Developing People to Their Fullest Potential註1.)時，我們也從大衛兩位出色的導師身上學到很多經驗。他們花很多時間在大衛身上，傾聽、教導和塑造他，教導他甚麼是在商業和生活中成功的意義。
你是否渴望在這個世上有所作為，至少在你身處的世界，有自己獨特的影響力？如果是，目前你已經成就了多少？ 當你聽到「帶門徒」(mentoring)這個字的時候，會聯想到甚麼？ 如果帶領一個人改變不是一個被指派的任務，或是一種必須要做的責任，而是一種自願的「互利關係」，你對「帶門徒」有甚麼看法？ 帶領門徒的過程在那些方面來說是給予而不是接受？
2:3 凡事不可結黨，不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀；只要存心謙卑，各人看別人比自己強。2:4 各人不要單顧自己的事，也要顧別人的事。
2:8 我們既是這樣愛你們，不但願意將 神的福音給你們，連自己的性命也願意給你們，因你們是我們所疼愛的。
2:9 弟兄們，你們記念我們的辛苦勞碌，晝夜做工，傳 神的福音給你們，免得叫你們一人受累。
2:12 要叫你們行事對得起那召你們進他國、得他榮耀的 神。
MAKING YOUR MARK THROUGH MENTORING, Part 1
By Robert J. Tamasy
“I want to make a difference.” Have you ever made this statement? It is a thought many of us have expressed, whether in public or at least to ourselves. Whether you are a Baby Boom generation member on the back end of your career, or a Millennial just getting a start in the workplace, this is a desire many of us share.
The question is, how do we make that difference? How can we succeed in making a mark that will endure long after our working days have ended?
There are many possible suggestions, but there is one I would highly recommend: Mentoring. I know, you might have an objection, saying something like, “I had a mentor once – a terrible experience!” That is not the kind of mentoring I”m talking about. Many of us have had a bad experience in which a mentor was assigned to us, had no genuine interest in us, and viewed being a mentor as an imposed assignment.
No, the kind of mentoring I mean involves a mutually beneficial relationship, two people on a journey together seeking to grow and build into one another”s lives. When David A. Stoddard and I co-authored The Heart of Mentoring: Ten Proven Principles for Developing People to Their Fullest Potential, we were drawing from Dave”s experience of having two wonderful mentors who invested much of themselves into him, listening and teaching and modeling what it meant to be successful in business – and in life.
Dave went on to replicate that mentoring process in the lives of dozens of other men for more than 30 years. He passed away five years ago this month, but his impact – the mark he made through mentoring others – continues to this day through many of those individuals.
What does that kind of mentoring look like? Here are a few of the principles we cited in our book, along with biblical precepts that undergird those principles:
Living is about giving. Too often, mentoring is viewed through a “what”s in it for me” lens. The most effective mentoring is done focused on the best interests of the person being mentored, whom we termed the “mentoring partner.” We want to help him or her become all they can possibly be. “…remembering the words of the Lord Jesus Himself: “It is more blessed to give than to receive”” (Acts 20:35).
Mentoring is a process that requires perseverance. Spending time with someone who needs our help at times can be frustrating or discouraging, especially when we fail to see the progress we had hoped for. That is why perseverance is necessary, pressing on and remaining committed to the mentor even when expectations are not met. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).
Effective mentors open their world to their mentoring partners. Nothing builds trust more than being transparent, even totally vulnerable, to the other person. As we are open to others, honest with our own struggles, that gives them confidence to become open with us. “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well” (1 Thessalonians 2:8).
I will take a look at some of the other principles from The Heart of Mentoring in the next “Monday Manna.”
© 2019. Robert J. Tamasy has written Business at Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today”s Workplace; Tufting Legacies; coauthored with David A. Stoddard, The Heart of Mentoring, and edited numerous other books, including Advancing Through Adversity by Mike Landry. Bob”s biweekly blog is: www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com.
Do you have a desire to make a difference in the world, at least in the world around you, your unique sphere of influence? If so, how well are you succeeding at doing that? When you hear the term “mentoring,” what comes to your mind? How might your thinking about mentoring change if it were presented not as a task, or an required assignment, but as a voluntary, “mutually beneficial relationship”? In what ways can you envision the process of mentoring being one that emphasizes giving rather than receiving?
NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more about principles it presents, consider the following passages:
Isaiah 43:4; Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Thessalonians 2:6-9, 11-12