思想 / 討論題目
你是否曾參加過一個會議，在其中有人提出抱怨，結果卻造成更多混亂，而不是帶來修正的行動？那是如何造成的？ 相較於上一題，你是否曾參加一個會議或討論，在其中有人像莎莉一樣表達出對某事的關切，但卻是用平靜、理性、有禮貌的態度？你認為這樣會帶出什麼不同的結果？ 在聖經新約中，舌頭被形容「是火，在我們百體中，舌頭是個罪惡的世界」（雅各書3章6節）。你認為這形容正確嗎？為什麼？ 你認為我們說出的話，尤其是出於強烈情緒，而且事先沒有仔細考慮過的話語，為何這麼有破壞性？預先防備可避免舌頭帶來的破壞力嗎？註：若你有聖經且想要看有關此主題的其他經文，請看：
PRESENTING COMPLAINTS WITH CIVILITY
By: Rick Boxx
A woman whom I will call Sally approached me one day, asking to meet with a committee on which I serve to express her concerns about how an employee was handling a project of particular interest to her. After reviewing a summary of Sally’s concerns prior to the meeting, I was very concerned that we were about to invite a very emotional confrontation. It turned out that I was wrong.
The complaints that Sally brought to our committee were communicated with tremendous civility and discretion. Instead of directing a personal accusation toward the responsible employee, Sally carefully selected her words and presented her grievance in a rational, diplomatic manner. She purposefully kept her attention on the broader issue and its importance, rather than attacking the individual involved.
At times I watched with admiration as Sally paused to regain her composure and make certain she remained focused on the facts, rather than yielding to the temptation to offer comments that would be negative or hostile toward the employee. As she talked to the committee, Sally”s obvious desire to remain civil rather than vengeful elevated her credibility in our eyes. It also enhanced our desire to do whatever we could to correct the problem to Sally’s satisfaction.
Situations like this are common in the business and professional world. Sometimes complaints about how another person is doing a job are driven by selfish motives, but many times we merely have a differing perspective on how a project should be carried out or how goals should be pursued. It is extremely tempting to respond out of emotion, conveying our frustration or anger. In most cases, however, inflammatory statements prove counterproductive, since they shift people into a defensive posture and place the emphasis on feelings rather than facts.
We would be well-advised to heed what the Bible says about how to approach circumstances like these. For instance, Proverbs 21:23 teaches, "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity." Here are some other principles worth considering:
Use words economically. The more you say, the more likely you are to utter something you will regret. So be cautious with what you say – and how you say it. “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).
Use words to heal, not to harm. The things we say can cut with the surgical precision of a scalpel, but our intent should not be to wound, but rather to bring about corrective steps and, if necessary, healing of relationships. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).
Use words with discernment. To accomplish our purpose, it is best to express our thoughts in the most appropriate way for our intended audience. “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6).
The next time you are prompted to complain or criticize, consider using civility and tact, regardless of how strongly you feel about the issue. The results will likely be more pleasing.
Copyright 2010, Integrity Resource Center, Inc. Adapted with permission from "Integrity Moments with Rick Boxx," a commentary on issues of integrity in the workplace from a Christian perspective.
Have you ever been a participant in a meeting where someone voiced a complaint that resulted in additional chaos rather than corrective action? How did this come about? By way of contrast, have you been part of a meeting or discussion in which someone like Sally expressed concerns, but managed to do so in a calm, rational, constructive manner? What difference, do you think, did this make in the eventual outcome? In the Bible”s New Testament, the tongue is described as “a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body” (James 3:6). In your view, is this description accurate? Why or why not? Why do you think that words we express, particularly when they come out of intense emotion and are not carefully considered before being uttered, can be so damaging? What precautions can be taken to avoid the destructive effects of the tongue? NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more about this subject, consider the following passages:
Proverbs 4:24, 10:32, 11:12, 12:14,17-18, 13:3, 15:1,4, 17:14,28; James 3:3-12