避免職場上的苦毒

我有一個朋友唐，他和一個生意夥伴原本關係良好，但因為對客戶和供應商的看法不同壞了彼此的關係。這些衝突無法解決，最後演變成為令人遺憾的後果－拆夥。唐因而在個人和經濟上都蒙受了很大的損失。

失去一段好的關係已經很令人傷心了，經濟上的損失更加深他的失敗和挫折感。大部分的人在這種情況下都會心生苦毒以及產生被人背叛的感覺。但是當他心中這樣的情緒逐漸高漲時，他選擇立刻轉身離開這種情緒。

唐沒有讓苦毒的根毀壞他和之前夥伴的拆夥後的關係，他決定要尋求和平的解決方式。這樣的決定是因為他知道苦毒會影響他生活的每一個層面。唐跟我坦承說:「苦毒也會使我拒其他人於千里之外，我不希望它破壞我其他的人際關係」。

聖經在希伯來書12章14-15節很清楚地講到：「你們要追求與眾人和睦，並要追求聖潔；非聖潔沒有人能見主。 又要謹慎，恐怕有人失了上帝的恩；恐怕有毒根生出來擾亂你們，因此叫眾人沾染污穢。」

苦毒的情緒具有殺傷性，跟癌症在人身上運作的方式一樣。如果一直不去理會它，它會破壞我們和每一個與我們相遇的人的關係。和處理腫瘤的方式一樣，在苦毒造成覆水難收的後果前，你可以移除它。

耶穌告訴我們，當被不公平的對待時，要如此回應：「你們聽見有話說：『以眼還眼，以牙還牙。』 只是我告訴你們，不要與惡人作對。有人打你的右臉，連左臉也轉過來由他打；有人想要告你，要拿你的裏衣，連外衣也由他拿去；」(馬太福音5章38-40節)

也許我們會不甘心地說：「看看他們對我做了什麼，我不能讓他們白白逃罪。」耶穌教導門徒以及我們：「不論是否哪種形式都不要存著報復的心。」即使那人不配，仍然饒恕。原諒他們然後繼續往前進，對我們自己的好處遠大於對他們的好處。

毫無疑問的，不愉快的生意或職場經驗會造成苦毒，但是靠著神的恩典，我們可以尋求和平的解決方式，而不是讓衝突升高，記得：「不要心存苦毒。」

本文版權為正直資源中心（Integrity Resource Center, Inc.）所有。本文獲得授權改編自「瑞克．博克思 的正直時刻Integrity Moments with Rich Boxx」。這系列的文章是以一個基督徒的觀點評論職場的正直議題。

A case in point involved my friend, Don. His once-thriving, positive relationship with his business partner began deteriorating due to differences in values and philosophy about how they should operate on a daily basis with customers and suppliers. Eventually these conflicts could not be resolved and their partnership came to a regrettable end. As a consequence of dissolving the partnership, Don incurred large financial losses personally.

The disappointment of losing a relationship that once held great promise was bad enough. But the impact on him financially greatly intensified his sense of failure and feelings of frustration. A common, even understandable response for many people in such circumstances would be feelings of bitterness and betrayal. However, when Don felt those emotions beginning to rise up inside, he chose to take immediate, evasive action.

Instead of allowing what can be termed “a root of bitterness” to destroy what remained of his relationship with the ex-business partner, Don chose to pursue a peaceful resolution. He made this determination not for the benefit of the former partner, but for himself, understanding how bitterness could affect other areas of his life. As Don admitted to me, "When I feel hurt, it can cause me to close myself off to others. I do not want this situation to undermine my other relationships."

The Bible speaks directly to this reality. Hebrews 12:14-15 says, "Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled."

The emotion of bitterness can be destructive, acting similar to cancer in the human body. If allowed to grow unchecked, it can destroy us and everyone crossing our paths. So like excising a cancerous tumor, bitterness must be dealt with and removed before it can cause irreparable damage.

Jesus addressed this when He spoke of how we should respond when treated unfairly. "You have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ "But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. "If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also” (Matthew 5:38-40).

We might argue, “Yes, but after what they did to me, I cannot just let them go without reacting in some way.” Jesus taught that for us as His followers, that “some way” should not be to punish or seek revenge, but rather to offer forgiveness – even when it is not deserved, or even requested. To forgive and then to move on is more for our benefit than for those who have done us harm.

Without question, business dealings that have gone bad can cause bitterness, but by God’s grace, and in our pursuit of peace – rather than seeking to escalate the conflict – bitterness does not have to follow.

Copyright 2015, Integrity Resource Center, Inc. Adapted with permission from "Integrity Moments with Rick Boxx," a commentary on issues of integrity in the workplace from a Christian perspective.