完美主義的陷阱──THE PITFALLS OF PERFECTIONISM

我們對於工作、養育子女、個人嗜好或其他一些活動,如何做我們所該做的事,可能會有兩種極端。一個是用「剛好就好」的心態,用相對最少的努力來勉強應付;或者選擇一種非常不同的方式-那就是完美主義,試圖把事情做得完全正確的固執。

我們當中的許多人可能是介於兩者之間。但是最近我聽說了一位著名的高爾夫球運動員,他意識到掌握技能的最佳方法是採取簡單的途徑。已故的本•霍根(Ben Hogan)被認為是有史以來最偉大的職業高爾夫球運動員之一,他於1930年代一直到1950年代中期參加各項賽事。在他的書《本•霍根的五堂課:現代高爾夫揮桿原理》中,解釋了自己成功的一個「秘密」。

他說:「……我不再試圖把許多事情都做到完美,因為我已經清楚意識到,這種企圖去達到過度完美的做法,既不可能也不可取,甚至沒有必要。打好高爾夫最需要的是,正確地做到少數幾個關鍵的基本動作。」

想想看:如果我們認知到霍根發現的「完美主義既不可能,也不可取,甚至沒有必要」,我們就可以把自己從許多不必要的壓力中釋放出來。相反的,我們只要下定決心「正確地做到少數幾個關鍵的基本動作」,就能在我們選擇的追求中獲得成功。

在更廣泛的意義上,這一個原則,與想要成為哥林多後書5章20節所描述的「基督的使者」有很大關係。當我們承諾跟隨耶穌基督時,這不僅意味著我們在家庭和教會中代表祂,也在我們的社區,特別是在我們工作的場所代表祂。要做到這一點,有哪些相對關鍵的基本動作是必要的?讓我來提出聖經中的幾個建議。

把上帝擺第一。一般而言,人們是為自己或為他們的公司和客戶工作。然而,聖經中勸誡我們:「無論做什麼,都要從心裡做,像是給主做的,不是給人做的,….你們所事奉的乃是主基督。」(歌羅西書3章23-24節)

追求卓越。當我們意識到服事上帝為首要,接著是為我們的客戶和顧客服務時,就會明白我們必須做到最好。「不錯」是不夠好的。「你看見辦事殷勤的人嗎?他必站在君王面前,必不站在下賤人面前。」(箴言22章29節)

工作要有誠信。業務往來通常是透過具有法律約束力的文件進行的,但即使有時感到不便,我們也應該被認定為信守承諾的人。「人冒失說,這是聖物,許願之後才查問,就是自陷網羅。」(箴言20章25節)

服事要謙卑。當其他人看到我們,願意把他們的需要放在我們自己的需要之前時,我們肯定會在工作場所脫穎而出。「凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。各人不要單顧自己的事,也要顧別人的事。」(腓立比書2章3-4節)

© 2021. Robert J. Tamasy 是企業巔峰: 給今日職場從箴言而來永恆的智慧 一書的作者。也與導師之心的作者David A. Stoddard 合著Tufting Legacies。編輯多本著作包括Mike Landry. Bob的書:透過苦難成長。Mike Landry. Bob的網站為www.bobtamasy-readywriterink.com

備註:如果你有聖經,想閱讀更多相關的內容,可以考慮以下經文:

詩篇37篇3-6節
37:3 你當倚靠耶和華而行善,住在地上,以他的信實為糧;
37:4 又要以耶和華為樂,他就將你心裏所求的賜給你。
37:5 當將你的事交託耶和華,並倚靠他,他就必成全。
37:6 他要使你的公義如光發出,使你的公平明如正午。
箴言16章3、9節
16:3 你所做的,要交託耶和華,你所謀的,就必成立。
16:9 人心籌算自己的道路;惟耶和華指引他的腳步。
傳道書9章10節
9:10 凡你手所當做的事要盡力去做;因為在你所必去的陰間沒有工作,沒有謀算,沒有知識,也沒有智慧。
使徒行傳17章28節
17:28 我們生活、動作、存留,都在乎他。就如你們作詩的,有人說:『我們也是他所生的。』
哥林多前書3章9節
3:9 因為我們是與上帝同工的;你們是上帝所耕種的田地,所建造的房屋。

反省與問題討論

  1. 你會如何描述自己做事的典型方式?你會選擇只做到滿足基本要求,還是努力把每件事都做到完美,或者介於兩者之間呢?
  2. 你如何看待高爾夫球運動員霍根的觀點-「正確地做到少數幾個關鍵的基本動作」?這種理念可能會如何改變你的工作方式,或你生活的其他方面呢?
  3. 追求完美主義會在哪些方面導致我們失敗或無法發揮最佳水準?
  4. 從屬靈的角度來看,文章裡所引用的聖經中幾個基本原則,哪一條對你來說最重要,如果有的話?還有其他你能想到的嗎?  


THE PITFALLS OF PERFECTIONISM

By Robert J. Tamasy

Engaging in work, parenting, personal hobbies or some other activity, there are two extremes for how we do what we do. We can adopt the “good enough is…good enough” mindset, trying to get by with a relative minimum of effort. Or we can choose a very different approach, that of perfectionism, a fixation on attempting to do things exactly right.

Many of us probably fall somewhere in between, but recently I heard about a famous golfer who realized that the best way to master his skills was to adopt a simple approach. The late Ben Hogan is regarded as one of the greatest golfers of all-time, competing from the 1930s through the mid-1950s. In his book, Ben Hogan’s Five Lessons: The Modern Fundamentals of Golf, he explained one “secret” to his success:

He said, “…I had stopped trying to do a great many things perfectly because it had become clear in my mind that this ambitious over-thoroughness was neither possible or advisable, nor even necessary. All that is really required to play good golf is to execute properly a relatively small number of true fundamental movements.”

Consider that: Recognizing that as Hogan had discovered, that perfection is “neither possible or advisable or even necessary,” we can free ourselves from a lot of unnecessary stress. Instead, we can achieve success in our chosen pursuits simply by determining to “execute properly a relatively small number of true fundamental movements.”

In a broader sense, this principle relates well to a desire to be as 2 Corinthians 5:20 describes it, “Christ’s ambassadors.” When we make a commitment to follow Jesus Christ, that means representing Him not only in our homes and churches, but also in our communities and especially, where we work. What are the relatively small number of true fundamental movements necessary for doing that? Let me suggest just several that the Bible provides for us:

Put God first. Typically, people work for themselves, or for their company, or their customers. However, in the Scriptures we are admonished, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23).

Pursue excellence. When we realize we are serving God first, and then our clients and customers, we understand this requires our very best. “Not bad” is not good enough. “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men” (Proverbs 22:29).

Work with integrity. Business is often transacted with legally binding documents, but we should be known as people who commit to do what we promise, even when it is not convenient. “It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows” (Proverbs 20:25).

Serve in humility. We are certain to stand out in the workplace when other people see we are willing to put their needs ahead of even our own. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4)

© 2022. Robert J. Tamasy has written Marketplace Ambassadors: CBMC’s Continuing Legacy of Evangelism and Discipleship; Business at Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace; Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart, coauthored with Ken Johnson; andThe Heart of Mentoring, coauthored with David A. Stoddard. Bob’s biweekly blog is: www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com.

Reflection/Discussion Questions

  1. How would you describe your typical approach? Do you choose to do just enough to get by, the basic requirements, or do you strive to perform everything perfectly, or somewhere in between?
  2. What do you think of golfer Hogan’s idea to “execute properly a relatively small number of true fundamental movements?” How might this philosophy change the way you approach the way you work, or other aspects of your life?
  3. In what ways could the pursuit of perfectionism result in our failure or inability to perform at our best?
  4. When viewed from a spiritual perspective, which of the biblical principles cited – if any – seem most significant for you? Are there any others that you can think of?

NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more, consider the following passages: Psalm 37:3-6; Proverbs 16:3,9; Ecclesiastes 9:10; Acts 17:28; 1 Corinthians 3:9


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