衡量教練的影響力──CALCULATING THE IMPACT OF CARING COACHING

在我的人生中,我經常考慮要成為教練。我很喜歡幫助別人練習高爾夫球揮桿,因為我已掌握住這項運動的基礎動作,而且打得還不錯。我也想過要做棒球的教練,但我知道自己已經離開棒球太久了。然而上帝引導我往一個非常不同的方向:用我個人的教練技巧,去幫助朋友和同事,在個人和商業生活中重新走上正軌。

無論是運動領域中個人或團隊,或是接觸某個人的生命和職涯,有效的教練需要觀察力,和洞察個人獨特需求以及潛力的能力,同時也需要學生願意學習和應用所得到的原則。

例如,一個職業高爾夫手,可能會面臨一個令人不舒服的任務,那就是改變一個多年來,一直擊球不當的學生的高爾夫揮桿動作。教練必須要教導學生來改變舊有的習慣。同樣的,在個人生命教練中,教練也必須幫助學生學會改變可能阻礙個人成長的舊習慣。

幾年前,我完成了一個以基督信仰為根基的教練課程,受益匪淺。但我了解到,如果那個人不願意為自己的成長做出必要的改變,再多的誠意也不會帶來成功。在教練別人時,對我來說最有效的是,與那些表現出真正渴望,想要改善生命中某些方面的人,並肩作戰。

我用一系列簡單的方法,引導他們追逐目標,帶領他們從A點到B點。一旦達到B點(目標),它就是一個新的A點(起點)。而學生們在聖靈的帶領下,自己決定下一個希望達成的新B 點(目標)。我的工作就是在旁邊不干擾、監督進展、鼓勵學生、觀察他們的結果,並為所獲得的成就感謝上帝。

聖經提供了許多生命教練的例子。以下是聖經中關於個人和職業成長,重要策略的一些原則:

我們互相砥礪。雖然教練的角色是幫助另一個人,但兩個人都可以在長期的互動中體驗到成長。鐵磨鐵,磨出刃來;朋友相感也是如此。」(箴言27章17節)

我們努力尋求內心的改變。在生命教練中,我們首先追求的是態度的改變。一旦心態改變,這個人就會更有動力去學習、成長以及更好地了解自己。大衛王坦誠地禱告說:上帝啊,求你鑒察我,知道我的心思,試煉我,知道我的意念,看在我裏面有甚麼惡行沒有,引導我走永生的道路。」(詩篇139篇23-24節)

我們從彼此身上汲取力量。到了最後,我們個人的教練就是上帝的聖靈,但是,我們也需要別人給我們好的建議,尤其是在困難的時期。「兩個人總比一個人好,因為二人勞碌同得美好的果效。若是跌倒,這人可以扶起他的同伴;若是孤身跌倒,沒有別人扶起他來,這人就有禍了。」(傳道書4章9-10節)
我們把典範傳遞下去。生命教練的一個目標是裝備別人成為另一個人好的教練。「你在許多見證人面前聽見我所教訓的,也要交託那忠心能教導別人的人。」(提摩太後書2章2節)

Jim Langley擔任人壽和健康保險經紀人期間已有30多年,他的寫作經歷也是。近年來,他的熱情轉向寫下他與神的個人關係。他的目標是鼓勵其他人來親近神。他是CBMC的長期會員,在2014年開始撰寫「比賽最後四分之一場戰略」

備註:如果你手上有聖經,想閱讀更多相關的內容,請參考下面的經文:(因篇幅有限,請查閱未列出的經文:箴言8章1、6-11節;箴言27章9-10節)

詩篇51篇10-12節
51:10 上帝啊,求你為我造清潔的心,使我裏面重新有正直的靈。
51:11 不要丟棄我,使我離開你的面;不要從我收回你的聖靈。
51:12 求你使我仍得救恩之樂,賜我樂意的靈扶持我,
箴言15章21-24節
15:21 無知的人以愚妄為樂;聰明的人按正直而行。
15:22 不先商議,所謀無效;謀士眾多,所謀乃成。
15:23 口善應對,自覺喜樂;話合其時,何等美好。
15:24 智慧人從生命的道上升,使他遠離在下的陰間。
箴言27章9-10節
27:9 膏油與香料使人心喜悅;朋友誠實的勸教也是如此甘美。
27:10 你的朋友和父親的朋友,你都不可離棄。你遭難的日子,不要上弟兄的家去;相近的鄰舍強如遠方的弟兄。
約翰福音14章15-17節
14:15 「你們若愛我,就必遵守我的命令。
14:16 我要求父,父就另外賜給你們一位保惠師,叫他永遠與你們同在,
14:17 就是真理的(聖)靈,乃世人不能接受的;因為不見他,也不認識他。你們卻認識他,因他常與你們同在,也要在你們裏面。
約翰一書4章19-21節
4:19 我們愛,因為上帝先愛我們。
4:20 人若說「我愛上帝」,卻恨他的弟兄,就是說謊話的;不愛他所看見的弟兄,就不能愛沒有看見的上帝。
4:21 愛上帝的,也當愛弟兄,這是我們從上帝所受的命令。

反省與問題討論

  1. 當你聽到「教練」這個詞的時候,你想到的是什麼?如果有的話,你認為教練(coaching)和師傅(mentoring)之間的區別是什麽?
  2. 你是否有和導師或生命教練相處的經驗?如果有,無論好與壞,這種經歷是怎樣的?
  3. 無論是出於個人或是職業目的,拒絕尋求或接受教練指導的潛在陷阱是什麼?
  4. 你認為內心(一個人的態度或動機)在擁有一個成功的教練關係中很重要嗎?為什麼?


CALCULATING THE IMPACT OF CARING COACHING

By Jim Langley  

Over the course of my life, I have often considered a career in coaching. I have enjoyed helping someone with their golf swing, since I have a good grasp of the fundamentals of the game and play fairly well. I also wondered about coaching baseball – but realized I had been away from the game for too long. Then God guided me in a very different direction, to use my individual coaching skills to help friends and colleagues get back on track in their personal and business lives.

Whether working with an individual or team in a sport or engaging in someone about their personal life and career, effective coaching requires observation skills and an ability to perceive the person’s unique needs and potential. It also requires a student’s willingness to learn and apply principles being taught.

For example, a golf professional may face the unenviable task of making needed changes to the golf swing of a student who has been hitting the ball improperly for years. He must coach to overcome the golfer’s tendency to revert to old habits. Similarly, in personal coaching, the coach must also help the student learn to change old tendencies that can inhibit personal growth.

A Christ-based coaching program I completed several years ago was of great benefit, but I learned that no amount of sincerity will bring success if the individual is unwilling to make the needed changes for personal growth. In seeking to coach others, what has worked best for me is coming alongside people exhibiting a true desire to improve in some aspect of their lives.

I guide them through a simple approach for pursuing goals, taking them from Point A to Point B. Once Point B has been reached, it becomes a new “Point A” and the students determine the new “Point B” they wish to achieve, empowered by God’s Spirit. My job is to get out of the way, monitor progress, encourage them, observe their results, and thank God for what has been accomplished.

The Bible offers many examples of life coaching. Here are some principles the Scriptures present about this important strategy for personal and professional growth.

We sharpen each other. While the role of a coach is to help another person, both individuals can experience growth as they interact with one another over time. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

We strive for a change of heart. In life coaching, we first look for a changed attitude. Once the heart changes, the person becomes more motivated to learn, grow and understand themselves better. King David candidly prayed, “Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).

We draw strength from one another. Ultimately, our Personal Coach is God’s Holy Spirit, but we need to have others to call upon for good counsel during challenging times. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

We pass on what has been modeled for us. One goal of life coaching is to equip others to become effective coaches for others. “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Timothy 2:2).

© 2023, all rights reserved. Jim Langley has been writing for more than 30 years while working as a life and health insurance agent. In recent years, his passion has turned to writing about his relationship with God. His goal is to encourage others to draw near to Him as well. A long-time member of CBMC, he started writing “Fourth Quarter Strategies” in 2014.

Reflection/Discussion Questions

  1. When you hear the word “coaching,” what comes to your mind? What do you think is the difference between coaching and mentoring, if any?
  2. Have you ever spent time with a mentor or a life coach? If so, what has that experience been like – both good and bad?
  3. What are the potential pitfalls of refusing to seek out or even accept coaching, whether for personal or professional purposes?
  4. Why do you think the heart – one’s attitude or motivations – is so important in having a successful coaching relationship?

NOTE: For more about what the Bible says about this topic, consider the following passages:
Psalm 51:10-12; Proverbs 8:1,6-11; 15:21-24; 27:9-10; John 14:15-17; 1 John 4:19-21


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